Any time we allow ourselves to become angry to the point of an outburst, behave in a passive aggressive way or stuff our anger inside, we’re playing with fire and sooner or later, we’ll get burned. It’s a fact that negativity breeds more negative & the consequences of our own angry behavior always hurt us in one way or another.
Sometimes it’s hard to do the constructive thing when we’re faced with frustrations or what we “feel” is an injustice. Sure, letting loose by swearing or yelling at someone, avoidance or other abusive behavior is guaranteed to have a hurtful effect on the person you direct it to. Internalizing our angry feelings will make us more stressed & never helps in actually dealing with the issue. Studies show that repressing anger can actually cause chronic health problems!
How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.
Like most people, I’ve been challenged at times having to not to just let my anger take control. It’s like a bad habit & not an easy one to break. But like anything else, it’s a matter of getting into the habit of doing things in a more positive way.
Take Control, Stop the Cycle
Whatever the injustice, the frustration or cause of stress, it isn’t helped any by continuing to feed into negativity with more angry behavior – that includes continuing to rehash angry thoughts as well as actually continuing to say negative things. It’s a viscous cycle and when tensions & emotions escalate, our control over self & situations spirals down. The more a person allows that to become a habit, the less control they feel they have next time a stressful situation comes along.
We don’t always have time to “stop & smell the roses”. But seriously, take a few moments to cool off & assess what really matters most (and it really isn’t pride). Then, deal with the situation constructively and you’ll avoid turning it into something even worse.
Anger always hurts people. Of course it hurts the ones we dump our anger on, but ultimately it hurts us, too.
What is your immediate reaction when you feel you’ve been wronged? Share your thoughts in the comments, below.
Image via Bex. Walton
So, I’ll start this off with a confession. In the past – and I mean for years – I’ve been known to “mis”handle anger by either stuffing it inside until the next time, or letting it boil over and lashing out by yelling & swearing. I’d say things that are plain nasty & hurtful.
It’s taken a continual effort & some really great help recently to change my way of thinking to handle things in a more constructive way. Sometimes I still fall down in that effort, just not as far down as before. 🙂
Nice of you to keep it real Cole. I feel that you can relate 🙂 Good luck, don’t quit giving it your best!
Tracey, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. Trying to keep it as real as can be. I appreciate you visiting here. Take good care of you & enjoy LIFE! 🙂
I ask how it upsets the scheme off things in the long run (most anger is stupid) and if I can do anything about it. If not, Poof!
I like that – thinking about how it will affect things in the long run. It will sure help to keep things in perspective & see how much the situation really matters, long-term. Thanks for you comment.
[…] http://coleruddick.com/2011/09/can-your-anger-really-hurt-you/ […]
I have what is a big problem
one I really don’t understand
my anger explodes exponentially
but this is never ever what I plan
No one seems to believe me
of the anger I don’t control
some bio-chemical interaction
changes me to another soul
Your forgiveness is not requested
each and every act I did
but understand it was not me
like my brain became a kid
Were I but a child today
and not about to be seventy
they would diagnosis my problem
and fix-me-up chemically
I wonder on another problem
one I think I understand
this bio-chemical interaction
may be prevalent throughout the land
No one wants to believe me
distorted religious doctrine is to blame
each condemns the teachings of the other
but the Infidel must be slain
Now this you know…
and you know that it’s true
Islam wants to change/control the whole world
enslave/exterminate the Infidel and the Jew
I have lived many fantastic decades
doing things you will never get a chance to do
when the Union of Socialist America (USA) collapses
it will be a third world doctorial existence for all of you
What an amazing poem! It’s interesting how we never do plan to get angry. Also, that pharmaceuticals are the most often referred-to solution… but really aren’t a solution at all.
Thanks so much for sharing! I appreciate it.
Yes, anger is a bane! And with so many stressors in our daily lives it is easy to lose control. That though is no excuse. I have found that anger is really a matter of perception. What You perceive a situation or a person is doing to You. If You remove, the ‘me’ – the personal factor- from the equation we will get angry less often; and be able to respond to the situation way more rationally. Love, unconditional, I have found helps to neutralise barbs. Perhaps not all the time, because we are all works in progress, but over time as we change the shape of our response/ the habit of our response it gets easier.
What you have said is by far some of the best advice anyone can take to heart when it comes to anger. “Remove the me” or the “personal factor” and suddenly, an angry reaction may not even make sense anymore.
Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. Wishing you the best & hoping to see you again soon.
Keep smiling as you make your point. Nobody wants 2 see and angry face even if it’s shouting the truth. Smile, say the truth, laugh, make your comments, & don’t take you or your opposition very seriously no matter what degree of urgency you know to be true that seems to be denied, distorted, or deliberately twisted by the opposition.
Where God is present, Anger is cast out.
When something gets me really angry, I usually withdraw and (as I say it) crawl into my hole. I think about whatever caused the anger, let myself seethe and simmer and usually within a couple of hours, I am ready to face family and the world again. I might still feel wounded, but I have thought it through enough that I won’t say anything hurtful. I explained to my kids when they were younger and to my spouse when I met him, that I like to just be left alone for a bit when something angers me, that when they see me withdraw, they know it’s nothing against them. If a family member gets me angry, I get “the look”, which means I’ve been crossed, but I am pretty good about biting my tongue and turning away, going to my ‘space’ and coming back to talk about it when I’ve cooled off. My growing up family has a history of angry, hurtful outbursts that I have worked my life to not copy and carry on. I can’t say I never burst, but I can honestly say I am able to control myself quite well, and my family doesn’t have to endure what I did as a child and still do from my siblings and parents. it isn’t fun and I cringe at the thought that I might do that to my family. Through this process, I’ve also learned how anger doesn’t solve anything and I more frequently look for a positive reaction that solves the situation rather than festers it. That lesson was a pleasant one to learn.